Monday, February 18, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
In Another Life
In Another Life
I wrapped my arms around him holding
him close
His eyes were white with fear
Tears welled and ran down his cheeks
He knew me only as death
He was surprisingly affectionate
He whispered confessions to God
I listened with guilt
Pleas for mercy and forgiveness
And gentle sobs as life left his
flesh and bones
He felt it too
Frightened, his grip on me grew
tighter
As if to tether his soul to my body
His passing did not dawdle
His soul would soon ascend
His pulse slowed
His tears cinched to a trickle
His body heaped and slumped
Growing heavier in my arms
His sobbing settled
He looked at me with desperation
A last plea for pardon
He’s dead.
His carcass lay limp
Blank eyes hollowed of expression
Only skin deep scars will tell his
story
The last of his name
No one left to speak of his bliss
No one to speak of his failures
His body will likely rot where I
leave him
Truth Will Always Be Revealed
During the course of a recent conversation with a significant someone in my life. This individual is not a significant other but a significant person in my life. She made mention of her viewing a recent cooking show in which the cook outed himself by having his boyfriend and several gay friends on his show. Show expressed great discern for his being gay and her inability to continue any enjoyment in watching his show any more.
She was able to relate this feeling to her brother and his friends. She said she loved but she just could not accept him for who he "chose" to be. I sat there in awe of her casual and clear expression. I sat heartbroken. I had thought she was making progress personally towards gay men and women. She seemed to slide back about fifty years all of a sudden.
I sat bewildered as if she had just used her pistol to shoot me in the heart as if this is what she always does on Saturday morning. I asked why she would say something like that. Her response was that she just couldn't change her way of thinking.
I have spent years coming to terms with who I am as a gay man and how it transpires much, if not all, of my life. I slumped. We had a funeral to attend later that afternoon and I thought, maybe we could make it a double funeral because I don't know if I can survive this bomb. I was just blown to smithereens. I know she and I should have had this talk years ago but I figured we didn't need to have the talk since EVERYONE else seemed to know. She apparently thinks it fine for a forty year old man to carry a distinctively femininely fashioned purse everywhere he goes. Not to mention it changes daily to match my outfits. Love! Love! Love! I love me a Vera Bradley bag. Brings me such joy. I have grown accustomed to the stares. I welcome the opportunity to tell someone why I love my purse and where they could buy their own instead of making eyes for mine.
I regressed so fast into my pre-coming out depression. I bought a pack of cigarettes and a new orange lighter. That was my favorite uncle's favorite color. Following the funeral I went home and found solace in a darkened slumber. I refused to even attend the repass. There seemed to be a great throng of mourners and mingling became a challenging burden I did not need to face. Sigh.
The next morning I went to Church for Sunday services. I still couldn't shake the funk. Everyone asked what was wrong. I put on my brave face and went on with the day so as to avoid the truth. But those words of disgust and rejection would not cease from resounding in my head! Those words of disgust and rejection unearthed the really dark past that I buried and believed gone. I am not that same little boy. But life seemed a little less precious after hearing those words. Life seemed a little less worth living after hearing those words. Life just seemed a little less after hearing those words. I guess I am that same little boy. Fearful of bullies, rejection and disgust. Oh my!
I remain in a state of active confusion. I remain alive, but in a state of confusion. I am at the cross roads again. I submitted a coming out poem for publication in a university arts magazine. If it is chosen to be published, all will be revealed.
She was able to relate this feeling to her brother and his friends. She said she loved but she just could not accept him for who he "chose" to be. I sat there in awe of her casual and clear expression. I sat heartbroken. I had thought she was making progress personally towards gay men and women. She seemed to slide back about fifty years all of a sudden.
I sat bewildered as if she had just used her pistol to shoot me in the heart as if this is what she always does on Saturday morning. I asked why she would say something like that. Her response was that she just couldn't change her way of thinking.
I have spent years coming to terms with who I am as a gay man and how it transpires much, if not all, of my life. I slumped. We had a funeral to attend later that afternoon and I thought, maybe we could make it a double funeral because I don't know if I can survive this bomb. I was just blown to smithereens. I know she and I should have had this talk years ago but I figured we didn't need to have the talk since EVERYONE else seemed to know. She apparently thinks it fine for a forty year old man to carry a distinctively femininely fashioned purse everywhere he goes. Not to mention it changes daily to match my outfits. Love! Love! Love! I love me a Vera Bradley bag. Brings me such joy. I have grown accustomed to the stares. I welcome the opportunity to tell someone why I love my purse and where they could buy their own instead of making eyes for mine.
I regressed so fast into my pre-coming out depression. I bought a pack of cigarettes and a new orange lighter. That was my favorite uncle's favorite color. Following the funeral I went home and found solace in a darkened slumber. I refused to even attend the repass. There seemed to be a great throng of mourners and mingling became a challenging burden I did not need to face. Sigh.
The next morning I went to Church for Sunday services. I still couldn't shake the funk. Everyone asked what was wrong. I put on my brave face and went on with the day so as to avoid the truth. But those words of disgust and rejection would not cease from resounding in my head! Those words of disgust and rejection unearthed the really dark past that I buried and believed gone. I am not that same little boy. But life seemed a little less precious after hearing those words. Life seemed a little less worth living after hearing those words. Life just seemed a little less after hearing those words. I guess I am that same little boy. Fearful of bullies, rejection and disgust. Oh my!
I remain in a state of active confusion. I remain alive, but in a state of confusion. I am at the cross roads again. I submitted a coming out poem for publication in a university arts magazine. If it is chosen to be published, all will be revealed.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
In my head, torrents of rain beat my nerve vessels while the walls of my skull contract, harshly scrubbing my throbbing brain. Armageddon has begun and it has begun in my head. The world I once roamed proudly as creator and happy citizen is in complete upheaval. Nights are the worse. There is no moon to speak of and the shadows seemed to have gotten darker. Hope is a four letter word that lost its value at the same time the sun lost its reflection.
Rubble is all that remains of a paradise that once graced the landscape of my mind. Rubble and creatures the likes I have never been able to conceive. I feel like I am in a foreign world and yet I know I am in my own head. Sleep is a luxury I seek but rarely find. Nutrition could calm the quakes in my belly but then nutrition too is a luxury I have lost. Life is lived or killed while the darkness passes. I couldn’t tell you how long will the darkness last? I wish I knew. Unfortunately, uncertainty is the only promise. Memories are new nightmares that taught you with a life that will never be again. The songs that celebrated life and love and gave us such joy only demean the nostalgia their sounds bring.
Occasionally I will find spurts of sunshine. They make me want to shed my coats and dressings to let my skin breathe in the sunshine cleaning my filth filled pores. I am heavier from the filth. It fills me like an unwelcomed lover seeking to unload his regrets and fears. I reek of death and despair. It is how I survive. The shadows feed on fresh meat. Sustaining this coat of filth and misery lets me seep through the wretched and displaced stealthily as seek what remnants of light survive.
Rubble is all that remains of a paradise that once graced the landscape of my mind. Rubble and creatures the likes I have never been able to conceive. I feel like I am in a foreign world and yet I know I am in my own head. Sleep is a luxury I seek but rarely find. Nutrition could calm the quakes in my belly but then nutrition too is a luxury I have lost. Life is lived or killed while the darkness passes. I couldn’t tell you how long will the darkness last? I wish I knew. Unfortunately, uncertainty is the only promise. Memories are new nightmares that taught you with a life that will never be again. The songs that celebrated life and love and gave us such joy only demean the nostalgia their sounds bring.
Occasionally I will find spurts of sunshine. They make me want to shed my coats and dressings to let my skin breathe in the sunshine cleaning my filth filled pores. I am heavier from the filth. It fills me like an unwelcomed lover seeking to unload his regrets and fears. I reek of death and despair. It is how I survive. The shadows feed on fresh meat. Sustaining this coat of filth and misery lets me seep through the wretched and displaced stealthily as seek what remnants of light survive.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Insipiration
I'm inspired by friends who are doing the damn thing. Fit and tough they fight a good fight to better lives of men and women who need inspiration to do the same. I've let fears consume me and inhibit my everything that is alive within me. My talent and creativity that at one time thrived is begging for a bit of momentum and direction. There are stories I have wanted to write and share. I have wanted to become and evolve for the past fifteen years. I have had false starts and excuses that have burned me up quicker than I could warm up to the challenge. As the only saboteur to my success, I'm left to admire inspiring people doing the things I think I should be doing. Am I just bitching or this an attempt to talk through a prime issue that has me settled into a 9-5 that I never studied to achieve. Time to prioritize and make a few decisions. Time t show them what I have in me to inspire!
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
I'm sick and tired of
Being sick and tired
Tired of your anger
Sick of counseling your fears
I just want to live
My life, fight my fears
Reach my dreams
I'm sidelined by your issues
I'm counseling your frightened inner child
Making sure you sleep at night
Comforted that I'm not a threat
My nights are spent wide eyed
In fear, I'm frightened
Your fear will find me vulnerable
I'm threatened by your ignorant inner child
Counsel yourself
Leave me the fuck alone
You'll never remember my name
Much less the dreams I've deferred
In hopes you will find the truth
I'm no threat and just want to live
I'm sick and tired
Of being sick and tired
Of your bullshit politics and
Ego driven rhetoric to count my vote
Among your tricks that kiss your ass
I'm not that one
I'm the nigga you love to hate
The brotha at the end of your line
The man you consider less worthy of humanity
Than the broken pets roadside begging for a bone
I'm a man worthy of justice
Deserving of peace and humanity,
The chance to live outside your broken spirit
I'm sick and tired
Just so tired of this fight
Please
Being sick and tired
Tired of your anger
Sick of counseling your fears
I just want to live
My life, fight my fears
Reach my dreams
I'm sidelined by your issues
I'm counseling your frightened inner child
Making sure you sleep at night
Comforted that I'm not a threat
My nights are spent wide eyed
In fear, I'm frightened
Your fear will find me vulnerable
I'm threatened by your ignorant inner child
Counsel yourself
Leave me the fuck alone
You'll never remember my name
Much less the dreams I've deferred
In hopes you will find the truth
I'm no threat and just want to live
I'm sick and tired
Of being sick and tired
Of your bullshit politics and
Ego driven rhetoric to count my vote
Among your tricks that kiss your ass
I'm not that one
I'm the nigga you love to hate
The brotha at the end of your line
The man you consider less worthy of humanity
Than the broken pets roadside begging for a bone
I'm a man worthy of justice
Deserving of peace and humanity,
The chance to live outside your broken spirit
I'm sick and tired
Just so tired of this fight
Please
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Freedom
I've chosen the cell I live in. Everyday I hope for release. I pray I find a way out of this confinement I have allowed to hold me. I still have not come out to my Mother. For the past 36 years, my world has spin around her light. My world has been made to allow her light to stay bright. I work each day to maintain order and to keep peace. I keeps my Mother happy. I do.
I do.
Someday I will make amends with the regret but I forgive myself. Too many years have fluttered by for me to be angry. Sometimes I'm sad. Sometimes I'm angry. I resent my truth sometimes. And sometimes I resent my choice. But, I made that choice willfully. I live with the consequences. I live with the anger, resentment, and sadness. I make due. They are my blues. I do. I do.
I do.
Someday I will make amends with the regret but I forgive myself. Too many years have fluttered by for me to be angry. Sometimes I'm sad. Sometimes I'm angry. I resent my truth sometimes. And sometimes I resent my choice. But, I made that choice willfully. I live with the consequences. I live with the anger, resentment, and sadness. I make due. They are my blues. I do. I do.
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
Monday, January 10, 2011
The Day After
It's winter and rain clouds blanket the city. We find solace in the routine of urban survival. Masses are out hunting and gathering for an easier demise. There is a solace in contributing to your own well being making yourself less of a burden to society. A lack of entitlement and a greater sense of responsibility make for a noble citizen.
Soldiers of fortune at arms, we are marching, fighting, dying for hope. Hope wakes us from slumber. Hopes fuel dreams that drive our ambitions. Hope allows us to hold onto the past with amorous grips opening ourselves to vulnerability so that we may experience love, joy, triumph and fulfillment.
Hope is freedom.
Hope is love.
Hope is life.
Soldiers of fortune at arms, we are marching, fighting, dying for hope. Hope wakes us from slumber. Hopes fuel dreams that drive our ambitions. Hope allows us to hold onto the past with amorous grips opening ourselves to vulnerability so that we may experience love, joy, triumph and fulfillment.
Hope is freedom.
Hope is love.
Hope is life.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The New Year
New year begins and we pray the energy improves. The air is thick with fear and trepidation. Prayers have doubled to any god who will listen. I can taste the desperation. It rests on my tongue like dew slowly saturating my taste buds as if it were the fourth of July and my tongue just tasted a juicy hamburger made with American cheese and mustard and sweet pickles and I'm filled with freedom and pride eating my red, white and blue burger. Only the taste now is not so salacious. It is bitter and greasy, metallic like blood and it fills me with hurt and regret. I am filled even with the regret of mistakes to come. I pray to my God. I pray for a relief to rinse the despair from my mouth and the good fortune to feel right with what is to come and the role I will assume. Thy will be done. Thy wraiths be merciful. Thy judgement be forgiving.
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Lust and Red Velvet
With sincere adoration, and great passion I savored my red velvet cake that I had originally brought for my lunch. It was 9:00 in the morning and I was 20 minutes late this morning which means I had only been at work for about 15 minutes. I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t resist. The rick red velvet cake and diving cream cheese frosting called to me like a mother would call for her lost child. The loving howl shook my heart and honed my senses. I moved helplessly and breathlessly towards the kitchen. I needed a fork. I couldn’t look uncivilized to my coworkers devouring sweet delicacies that early in the morning. I needed heaven in my mouth and I had to have it now. My eagerness was so great I had a skip in my gait. My large frame danced down the hall to the kitchen fetching a fork. I was giddy. I was beside myself with joy following my temporary bliss. The very nature of addiction is to follow a temporary bliss understandably uncontrollably. I had to have it! My bliss would be had as soon as I was able to locate a plastic fork and pop my Tupperware treasure!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Once And Again: For Bijou from Moochie
I am almost there, I am just so close.
The rapid pace of my heart
labors my breathing.
I am excited,
beside myself with unspeakable joy.
I have fantasized seeing you,
being with you, and touching you.
The very nearness of you
is more than my poor riddled nerves
can handle.
Shaken, inspired,
I tried to wrote of our love
and how my soul yearns to be near
the unquestionably bright light that is you.
Last night, in desperation,
my sad heart cried out your name.
Missing you, my heart wept.
Curled up, I prayed through tears,
to spin time, to be with you. Time,
man's torturous invention,
cruel to only tick by, mocking
my romantic notion and yearning
for my one true love.
I love you.
I do love you so much.
Your heart, mind, that brilliant fear,
and so much so,
I love that you need of me,
want me.
I know there is more.
When two are in love,
everything is a frenzy.
Blinders obstruct our view
and this is just bliss.
Sonnets, songs and harmony fill the air,
we step in tune to love
and find laughter at each bend.
Love is a blessing and
the brightest light to live by.
How privileged am I to know
the kindness of the universe
when you ask and do deserve.
When I am without hope,
when joy is hard to find, I think of you.
My heart is depressed missing you, us.
I call to you
and beg of the skies to find you
and deliver my call.
The clouds pass so slowly,
the wind is of no comfort or haste.
Stars of night are less helpful than passing clouds
blinking at me mocking me like time.
Time and stars are in cahoots
to steal my light and little joy,
Twinkling and ticking a little greener than before.
I have something brighter than the night heavens
with a full and heavy moon.
I have you.
I have you to whittle away the tick of time
till a whisper from you
can be heard across an expanse of longing.
We will know intimacy once again.
Our love is greater than the sea
and its heaviest citizens.
I will have you once again.
We will be together once again.
The rapid pace of my heart
labors my breathing.
I am excited,
beside myself with unspeakable joy.
I have fantasized seeing you,
being with you, and touching you.
The very nearness of you
is more than my poor riddled nerves
can handle.
Shaken, inspired,
I tried to wrote of our love
and how my soul yearns to be near
the unquestionably bright light that is you.
Last night, in desperation,
my sad heart cried out your name.
Missing you, my heart wept.
Curled up, I prayed through tears,
to spin time, to be with you. Time,
man's torturous invention,
cruel to only tick by, mocking
my romantic notion and yearning
for my one true love.
I love you.
I do love you so much.
Your heart, mind, that brilliant fear,
and so much so,
I love that you need of me,
want me.
I know there is more.
When two are in love,
everything is a frenzy.
Blinders obstruct our view
and this is just bliss.
Sonnets, songs and harmony fill the air,
we step in tune to love
and find laughter at each bend.
Love is a blessing and
the brightest light to live by.
How privileged am I to know
the kindness of the universe
when you ask and do deserve.
When I am without hope,
when joy is hard to find, I think of you.
My heart is depressed missing you, us.
I call to you
and beg of the skies to find you
and deliver my call.
The clouds pass so slowly,
the wind is of no comfort or haste.
Stars of night are less helpful than passing clouds
blinking at me mocking me like time.
Time and stars are in cahoots
to steal my light and little joy,
Twinkling and ticking a little greener than before.
I have something brighter than the night heavens
with a full and heavy moon.
I have you.
I have you to whittle away the tick of time
till a whisper from you
can be heard across an expanse of longing.
We will know intimacy once again.
Our love is greater than the sea
and its heaviest citizens.
I will have you once again.
We will be together once again.
Monday, June 2, 2008
CONSUMER RESPONSIBILITY and LAZY HEIFERS
Disclaimer: Due to the amount of rage built up during my retail experience some language I have chosen may be found offensive by some people. Parental discretion is advised. I was really pissed off!
At some point in Western Culture, shopping became a sport. We don't give medals or hold shopping tournaments. We do have white sales and clearance sales. As a people we try to get the most for our dollar and will forget all manners and forms of respect to get the best bargain possible. Having worked in retail for over ten years, I have found the public to be less than desirable and most irresponsible when it comes to shopping. Westerners have become lazy consumers who expect more than what they are willing to or are actually paying for.
So many people shop without worry of consequence. Systems are set in place to help us make purchases, returns, cancellations and changes. Sometimes the fine print is written in a lost language but it is there for us to scrutinize, challenge or simply accept.
Why is there a fine print? Why is everything not in plain view or made obvious? Now I would argue that most places are clear on return policies and make returns easy. There are a few like those bastards at AOL who are misleading. I missed a fine print somewhere and was charged for service when I tried a free trial. Then they refused to give me my money back. I felt robbed and pissed off that the representative tried to offer me a different service. Just cancel my mother fucking service and quit charging me for something that I do not use. It is my responsibility to pay attention, and I thought I had paid close attention when providing my billing information as proof that I am over 18. I screwed myself because they tell me that gave them authorization to charge me. It is not enough money to sue them over but it is enough to infuriate me and not have anything to do with them ever again. My lesson learned is to pay close attention to fine print and ask questions when trying to get something for free. It was useless to get mad at the operator. It was not her fault I did not do my part as a consumer. I called expecting them to pay me back for my mistake. I thanked the operator for canceling my service and told her I would be more careful next time.
Like I said, I work retail for a living. I deal with people all the time who only meet us halfway and expect us to pick up their slack. Customers want us to correct their mistake and get irate when we cannot do so or do not understand what needs to be corrected. As retail associates and managers we are willing problem solvers but only can control what is within our power. And of course, we are always ready to fix our own mistakes. Understand that mistakes will happen.
If you want a refund, bring your receipt and credit card. Don't expect every store to have the latest technology in pos systems. Just because one store was able to invest in a high end cash register does not mean everyone has the same system and capabilities. In addition, bring your items back within a reasonable amount of time. We have to try and resell the shit you are returning. If you return something six months later, we have a hard time selling it, and we are unable to sell said shit at the price we returned to you.
Read your receipt! The return policy is printed on there! This way you are not surprised when they say no to your return. Save your receipt. Don't expect the store to remember who the hell you are regardless of how much you spend over the years. The staff barely knows each other how are they gonna remember your chump ass!
Be nice to sales people. They are handling your personal information. Don't piss them off! You are buying bullshit really. You are not buying a heart or a lung. This purchase will not cure cancer or feed the homeless. Your spending money will not stop terrorism or solve education issues. So calm the fuck down. Most sales people are glad to help correct mistakes, deal with damages or help make a bad situation right. They are unwilling to go that extra mile if you come in with both guns blasting. Don't barge in like you are gonna rob a bank or someone is gonna rob you! Chill out and just explain the situation, most dilemmas have an easy fix. We could do it nice or we could do it rough depending on how dirty you want to get!
There really should be guidelines on how to act as a consumer. I believe there are ten rules by which people should shop:
1. We could care less how much money you have spent in our store. We treat you the same whether you spend $5.00 or $5000.00. The more money you spend only lets me know that you will be more trouble. You shouldn't expect better treatment based on how much cash you drop in our store. We work retail and obviously do not care about making money. It is not our fault that you are to lazy to shop around and want one-stop shopping. Being a long-time shopper does not entitle you to special treatment, It only means you have lots of time on your hands and disposable income.
2. Don't expect everyone to know what the hell you are thinking. We do not read minds and were not with you when you had that epiphany this morning. Do not get mad at us for not understanding your less than descriptive cry for something you saw on the Internet.
3. Do not expect everything to be in stock at your whim. Other people are on top of their game and shopped us before you. We do sell out of items. Catalog/Internet only means Catalog/Internet only. We don't what the fuck it looks like, feels like nor have can we ship it for free! So don't ask damn it. We have less pull than you with our employer. So don't ask. All stores show the same thing and we cannot find it anywhere near us to show you, so don't ask. We are not lying when we tell you we do not have it! Why would we not want to sell you something! Duh!
4. Do not shop when you are in a hurry. We are not all on the same time schedule as you. Just because you are in a hurry does not mean we need to be all of a sudden. Contrary to popular belief, you are not the only person in the world and must wait sometimes to be waited on! This is not personal, this is business. We will not have a personal shopper for every customer. Be realistic. If you need to pick up the kids in five minutes, we will not make everyone else wait for you to get "what you need." You are not buying a cure for your sudden onset of cancer! You can get it later.
5. Not all stores are the same. Nor are they all owned by the same company. You cannot return items from one store to a different store. This is common sense.
6. The clerks do not have direct access to your personal financial accounts so if you forget your credit cards, you are screwed. Do you really want us having such easy access to your account. In addition, returns are not always automatic. I only know of two stores that do this.
7. Complaints really do fall on deaf ears. We do not give a shit about your whining and like even less to hear it. You want to complain, call corporate. Call Oprah! Call someone who will give a shit! Honestly, we get paid weather you leave happy our think we are assholes. We are nice people and are glad to help you out. Try calling us when you have something nice to say or when we made your day. Be compelled for a change to compliment instead of ready to scream, bitch and whine!
8. Yelling does not make us go the extra mile. When you call us fucking idiots, we shut down. Why should I help someone I do not know who is psychotic over a damaged product that we could easily replace for you if you had simply asked. We really are here to help you but, you fucked that up by yelling.
9. Save your damn receipts. You can save little Jimmy's first tooth and horrible first grade art work but you would lose a receipt for a $1000.00 purchase. Jimmy is 25 now and you still have that rotten tooth. You cannot save a receipt from one week to the next! What the fuck? And don't forget to read the damn thing. Trees are dying everyday and all you do is shove it in the bag or worse, leave without it! Wasteful. And what is so hard about keeping the packaging that your purchase comes in? It's a plastic bag we're talking about. We don't need you to return it folded perfectly but return your purchase with the original packaging.
10. Remember what the hell you bought! How the hell should I remember what you bought three days ago during one of the busiest shopping times of the year. You bought it and you don't remember. Really? Really? You just dropped $1000 and don't know what the hell you bought. Really?
Follow these rules and we should have a good experience. Why is this so hard. I am not a magician pulling shit you bought five years ago out of my ass and hat! We change product regularly. That is what keeps you coming back. Duh! And contrary to popular belief, we do not keep extra pieces and/or hardware for when you break or lose something.
Time is very relevant. Man made time for a reason. We live according to time. We shop according to time. You should make returns according to time. Why would you think it is alright to bring shit back three years after you purchased? Why wouldn't you return your purchase within the first few days of having bought it. That just don't make no kinda' sense. "I have been busy" is not an excuse. Busy doing what, strengthening international relations with Condoleeza Rice? I mean three years. Were you in Ecuador with Doctor's Without Borders? Maybe you have been in a coma. Perhaps you are just remodeling and decided your purchase three years ago does not fit with how you think and plan today's decor. Think about it! What are you thick?
Wow! I could go on and on. And I am sure so many people could relate to this posting. There is so much more. I will definitely have a second posting. Maybe a how-to on handling the difficult customer or how to slap that bitch.
At some point in Western Culture, shopping became a sport. We don't give medals or hold shopping tournaments. We do have white sales and clearance sales. As a people we try to get the most for our dollar and will forget all manners and forms of respect to get the best bargain possible. Having worked in retail for over ten years, I have found the public to be less than desirable and most irresponsible when it comes to shopping. Westerners have become lazy consumers who expect more than what they are willing to or are actually paying for.
So many people shop without worry of consequence. Systems are set in place to help us make purchases, returns, cancellations and changes. Sometimes the fine print is written in a lost language but it is there for us to scrutinize, challenge or simply accept.
Why is there a fine print? Why is everything not in plain view or made obvious? Now I would argue that most places are clear on return policies and make returns easy. There are a few like those bastards at AOL who are misleading. I missed a fine print somewhere and was charged for service when I tried a free trial. Then they refused to give me my money back. I felt robbed and pissed off that the representative tried to offer me a different service. Just cancel my mother fucking service and quit charging me for something that I do not use. It is my responsibility to pay attention, and I thought I had paid close attention when providing my billing information as proof that I am over 18. I screwed myself because they tell me that gave them authorization to charge me. It is not enough money to sue them over but it is enough to infuriate me and not have anything to do with them ever again. My lesson learned is to pay close attention to fine print and ask questions when trying to get something for free. It was useless to get mad at the operator. It was not her fault I did not do my part as a consumer. I called expecting them to pay me back for my mistake. I thanked the operator for canceling my service and told her I would be more careful next time.
Like I said, I work retail for a living. I deal with people all the time who only meet us halfway and expect us to pick up their slack. Customers want us to correct their mistake and get irate when we cannot do so or do not understand what needs to be corrected. As retail associates and managers we are willing problem solvers but only can control what is within our power. And of course, we are always ready to fix our own mistakes. Understand that mistakes will happen.
If you want a refund, bring your receipt and credit card. Don't expect every store to have the latest technology in pos systems. Just because one store was able to invest in a high end cash register does not mean everyone has the same system and capabilities. In addition, bring your items back within a reasonable amount of time. We have to try and resell the shit you are returning. If you return something six months later, we have a hard time selling it, and we are unable to sell said shit at the price we returned to you.
Read your receipt! The return policy is printed on there! This way you are not surprised when they say no to your return. Save your receipt. Don't expect the store to remember who the hell you are regardless of how much you spend over the years. The staff barely knows each other how are they gonna remember your chump ass!
Be nice to sales people. They are handling your personal information. Don't piss them off! You are buying bullshit really. You are not buying a heart or a lung. This purchase will not cure cancer or feed the homeless. Your spending money will not stop terrorism or solve education issues. So calm the fuck down. Most sales people are glad to help correct mistakes, deal with damages or help make a bad situation right. They are unwilling to go that extra mile if you come in with both guns blasting. Don't barge in like you are gonna rob a bank or someone is gonna rob you! Chill out and just explain the situation, most dilemmas have an easy fix. We could do it nice or we could do it rough depending on how dirty you want to get!
There really should be guidelines on how to act as a consumer. I believe there are ten rules by which people should shop:
1. We could care less how much money you have spent in our store. We treat you the same whether you spend $5.00 or $5000.00. The more money you spend only lets me know that you will be more trouble. You shouldn't expect better treatment based on how much cash you drop in our store. We work retail and obviously do not care about making money. It is not our fault that you are to lazy to shop around and want one-stop shopping. Being a long-time shopper does not entitle you to special treatment, It only means you have lots of time on your hands and disposable income.
2. Don't expect everyone to know what the hell you are thinking. We do not read minds and were not with you when you had that epiphany this morning. Do not get mad at us for not understanding your less than descriptive cry for something you saw on the Internet.
3. Do not expect everything to be in stock at your whim. Other people are on top of their game and shopped us before you. We do sell out of items. Catalog/Internet only means Catalog/Internet only. We don't what the fuck it looks like, feels like nor have can we ship it for free! So don't ask damn it. We have less pull than you with our employer. So don't ask. All stores show the same thing and we cannot find it anywhere near us to show you, so don't ask. We are not lying when we tell you we do not have it! Why would we not want to sell you something! Duh!
4. Do not shop when you are in a hurry. We are not all on the same time schedule as you. Just because you are in a hurry does not mean we need to be all of a sudden. Contrary to popular belief, you are not the only person in the world and must wait sometimes to be waited on! This is not personal, this is business. We will not have a personal shopper for every customer. Be realistic. If you need to pick up the kids in five minutes, we will not make everyone else wait for you to get "what you need." You are not buying a cure for your sudden onset of cancer! You can get it later.
5. Not all stores are the same. Nor are they all owned by the same company. You cannot return items from one store to a different store. This is common sense.
6. The clerks do not have direct access to your personal financial accounts so if you forget your credit cards, you are screwed. Do you really want us having such easy access to your account. In addition, returns are not always automatic. I only know of two stores that do this.
7. Complaints really do fall on deaf ears. We do not give a shit about your whining and like even less to hear it. You want to complain, call corporate. Call Oprah! Call someone who will give a shit! Honestly, we get paid weather you leave happy our think we are assholes. We are nice people and are glad to help you out. Try calling us when you have something nice to say or when we made your day. Be compelled for a change to compliment instead of ready to scream, bitch and whine!
8. Yelling does not make us go the extra mile. When you call us fucking idiots, we shut down. Why should I help someone I do not know who is psychotic over a damaged product that we could easily replace for you if you had simply asked. We really are here to help you but, you fucked that up by yelling.
9. Save your damn receipts. You can save little Jimmy's first tooth and horrible first grade art work but you would lose a receipt for a $1000.00 purchase. Jimmy is 25 now and you still have that rotten tooth. You cannot save a receipt from one week to the next! What the fuck? And don't forget to read the damn thing. Trees are dying everyday and all you do is shove it in the bag or worse, leave without it! Wasteful. And what is so hard about keeping the packaging that your purchase comes in? It's a plastic bag we're talking about. We don't need you to return it folded perfectly but return your purchase with the original packaging.
10. Remember what the hell you bought! How the hell should I remember what you bought three days ago during one of the busiest shopping times of the year. You bought it and you don't remember. Really? Really? You just dropped $1000 and don't know what the hell you bought. Really?
Follow these rules and we should have a good experience. Why is this so hard. I am not a magician pulling shit you bought five years ago out of my ass and hat! We change product regularly. That is what keeps you coming back. Duh! And contrary to popular belief, we do not keep extra pieces and/or hardware for when you break or lose something.
Time is very relevant. Man made time for a reason. We live according to time. We shop according to time. You should make returns according to time. Why would you think it is alright to bring shit back three years after you purchased? Why wouldn't you return your purchase within the first few days of having bought it. That just don't make no kinda' sense. "I have been busy" is not an excuse. Busy doing what, strengthening international relations with Condoleeza Rice? I mean three years. Were you in Ecuador with Doctor's Without Borders? Maybe you have been in a coma. Perhaps you are just remodeling and decided your purchase three years ago does not fit with how you think and plan today's decor. Think about it! What are you thick?
Wow! I could go on and on. And I am sure so many people could relate to this posting. There is so much more. I will definitely have a second posting. Maybe a how-to on handling the difficult customer or how to slap that bitch.
In the beginning...
Wow. This is the place. Finally, after much pressing form friends and family is the Mo Blog. I hope everyone enjoys, more so, becomes inspired.
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